Review #14: Bearing Fruit by Nikki Alfar

March 13th, 2010

Published by: Fantasy Magazine, March 1, 2010

The Story:

In Bearing Fruit, a sixteen-year-old girl bathing in a river near her home finds herself smitten with a mango bobbing in the current. By the time it’s had its way with her, the poor girl finds herself suddenly with child. Of course no one believes her story, and she can barely believe it herself.  She doesn’t know much about how babies are made, but she’s pretty sure that fruit isn’t involved. Even though her closest cousins vouch for her chastity, the girl is still subtly shunned by her family and neighbors, so she sets forth on a journey upstream to find the father of her unborn child.

The Craft: Character Arcs

SPOILERS

If there’s one thing that will change a young woman, it’s getting knocked up by a frisky piece of fruit. Not only is her body going through a rapid change, but so are her relationships, her perceived value to her village, and her own self-esteem. At the beginning of the story, she’s innocent, virtuous, and carefree. Once the prettiest girl in the village, the pregnant girl finds that her prospects have dwindled, and the boy cousins who once safeguarded her virtue are now given more useful tasks, such as building a shelter for the family’s livestock.

It’s at this point that our young heroine departs from her initial character setup, no longer so innocent, virtuous, or carefree…at least in the eyes of her family. They’re relieved to be rid of her when she announces that she intends to set out on a perilous journey into the wild to find the father of her unborn child. With the company of her closest girl cousins, and armed only with sticks and their sharp tongues, they travel upstream not knowing what to expect. She’s quick to accuse the first soul they happen upon: a young boy attending a mango tree for an old widow. It turns out that he’s not the culprit, and though he does offer to escort one of the weary girl cousins home under suspicious pretenses, our heroine has learned she is no longer fit to judge other people’s choices.

Her physical changes quickly escalate after a brief encounter with a handsome thief using the trunk of a mango tree to stash his stolen goods. As our heroine makes her way further up the now tumultuous river, her pregnant belly weighs heavily upon her and she’s cursed with morning sickness as well. She comes upon an old man tending a mango tree, though our heroine is too disgusted with mankind to afford him any sort of respect. She discovers that indeed this man knows how her pregnancy came to be — that the mango was set forth on a journey to find his shy son a wife. Swept up in a lavish lifestyle, our again fair maiden has the opportunity to reclaim her respectability, though at the cost of her self-respect. The son never receives the tongue lashing she’d been saving for him, and though the life he offers her is not a bad one by any means, her thoughts circle back to that handsome thief and the life she might have had with him.

Bearing Fruit is a great, quirky tale with a bittersweet character arc. Going from innocence, to driven by fierce resentment, to settling for a life that isn”t her choice but is good enough. If she hadn’t found her drive, she would have remained at home, shunned. If she hadn’t decided to barter her self-respect for stability and comfort, she would have remained poor. But through her changes, she reaches an ending she can live with, even though it’s not her happily-ever-after that fair maidens are often promised.

March Craft Focus: Character Arcs

March 5th, 2010

Next up, character arcs! Or lack thereof as the case may be. I’m personally a fan of characters that don’t change, because let’s face it — change is hard in real life. But we’re not writing real life, we’re writing fiction, so at some point or another we’re going to have to deal with THE CHANGE.  No, not that change…the one characters go through. What makes them different (for better or worse) at the end of the story from what they are at the beginning?

So, during March we’ll be dissecting characters. It’s not as gruesome as it sounds. Then again, maybe it is. We’ll just have to see!

February Recap

March 4th, 2010

They say you never get a second chance to make a first impression. This month, I sifted through over a dozen stories from pro Fantasy/Science Fiction magazines and presented those with the best opening sentences, paragraphs, and scenes, so let’s see what we can learn from them collectively.

First, a recap of February’s reviews:

Review # 8: After the Dragon by Sarah Monette The sole survivor of the latest dragon attack deals with her emotional scars as well as her physical ones.

Review #9: Cory’s Father by Francesca Forrest An exiled mother with five baby-daddies makes a deal that leaves her unable to see one of her children.

Review #10: Stranger by Patricia Russo An old, useless woman scrambling for shelter from the coming storm meets a stranger with a different perspective on the value of life.

Review #11: The City of Unrequited Dreams by Claude Lalumière A lovelorn teen sets forth on an adventure to a fabled land for the chance to reclaim a missing piece from his past.

Review #12: The Economy of a Vacuum by Sarah Thomas An astronaut on a moonbase faces isolation after a war on Earth cuts away all ties to her humanity.

Review #13: Non-Zero Probabilities by N. K. Jemisin A woman arms herself against the improbable when a string of freak occurrences threatens to derail her life.

So what made these stories catch the reader’s eye? Each story worked differently — some were high on concept and others deep with character, while tone varied from somber to reflective to humorous. There’s obvious overlap in the qualities that pulled me in: rich details, urgent problems, and burning questions, but above all, these stories presented the reader with the unexpected.

Tantalizing Details
Short stories need to be compact, but that doesn’t mean sacrificing detail for a slimmer word count. In After the Dragon, the visuals of the dragon’s quartz and obsidian remains were vivid, specific, and haunting. There’s a lot of words dedicated to this description, but there are a couple big payoffs for the reader — one, it grounds us into this reality by touching our senses, and two, it gives substance to the hideousness vs. beauty theme that runs through the piece. Non-Zero Probabilities starts with an odd mash of personal details and humorous parentheticals to quickly paint a character. In the span of a paragraph, we learn about Adele’s ancestry, religion, past relationships, shopping habits, and her preference in undergarments as she prepares herself for what we expect will be one interesting day.

Urgent Problems and Burning Questions
These two qualities cause a buildup of internal pressure within the reader’s mind that keeps us turning pages (or scrolling down as the case may be.) In Stranger, quiet tension builds on the eve of a savage rain storm while an old woman’s fate depends on a distant family member taking her in. She faces a life or death situation, but customs prevent her from pestering her family members. In The City of Unrequited Dreams, we’re sucked in by questions — what happened to Vittorio, and what is this fabled land of Venera? These questions don’t get fully answered, but we’re taken on a thrilling journey that makes it worth getting strung along. Cory’s Father also uses questions, keeping things vague but interesting. We never get to know what’s over there, though the snippet of story we get is satisfying and hints at a bigger, richer world.

The Unexpected
A woman donning ragged panties in preparation for battle, fantasy inducing chocolates, a mother who can’t see one of her sons, and a young woman flamed down by a dragon on a Oregon beach. It’s hard to be original these days, but introducing the unexpected into a story makes them feel fresh. For example, After the Dragon could be the story of any survivor, take away the dragons, but build the world around those dragons and you’ve suddenly given it new life. When I encounter the unexpected, I sit up and take notice, suddenly my nose is three inches from my computer screen and I’m engaged in the story. What makes the unexpected unexpected? One element is the juxtaposition of the two things you’d least expect to find paired together, like battles and panties.

This month’s Must Read goes to the story that took the unexpected to the extreme: Non-Zero Probabilities by N. K. Jemisin.

Go read it now, before a window A/C unit falls on your head.